<><><>
It had been a long day when Ruby and Weiss were able to retire to their room for the night. Under normal circ*mstances, Weiss would have let herself collapse onto her bed and drift into sleep. Today, however, she didn’t quite get the opportunity.
“Every time I draw it, I…” Ruby mumbled, having repeated the same thing since they had begun the trek back to their room. Even more so than just today, although usually it was reserved for times when they weren’t as exhausted. It just seemed that today had hit her a bit harder than before.
I know what I did in the ever after, I know what I said, and I still believe it. But, I…” She trailed off, Crescent Rose weighing heavy on her back, akin to that of an anchor trying to drag her under. She could say whatever she wanted to, present herself in a way that made herself seem healthier, and hide away the guilt that still gnawed at her.
But she couldn’t shake it all off that easily.
At some point, they had both settled on Weiss' bed, sitting mere inches from each other. Ruby stared at her hands, inner thoughts hidden to Weiss, and the latter sat quietly. Watching, waiting, she did that a lot nowadays.
“I know how you feel–”
“No, you don't!” Ruby rushed to her feet, pulling away from Weiss as if she'd been scorched. “You don't understand, you never had to live through it! You're not me, and I don't want you to be!”
“Ruby, I'm just trying to say–”
“That you're sorry?” Ruby spat, hands clenching and unclenching at her side like she was trying to keep herself from strangling something. “Because that's all you can say, that you're sorry. Well, I don't want your sorry–no one even means that when they say it.”
She ran her hand through her hair rather violently, snagging a few bits halfway through.
“You just say it when there's nothing else to say–everyone does! It's just a courtesy! It's just– I–!”
Her eyes fluttered, adrenaline abandoning her as she fell into Weiss’s arms. They both swayed, for just a moment, until Weiss pulled her close, dragging her back to the bed.
“I just want to be better!” Ruby screamed into her shoulder, the last dregs of energy that she possessed used for her tirade. “I don't want to be this way, I don't want people to be sorry–I want to be fixed!”
The screams quickly turned into stuttering sobs, incomprehensible words, and gestures being pushed onto Weiss with no end in sight. Yet, even as these things were hurled at her, she didn't turn away.
There was just… too much vulnerability in them both, too much connection over such a short period. Weiss couldn't leave Ruby, just as much as Ruby couldn't leave her.
“I won't say you don't need to be fixed, and I won't say you do.” Weiss reached up, running a hand through Ruby's hair in a much gentler manner. She loosened all the knots she could find, relieving the pressure that rested there.
“And I'm sorry that I can't take the pain from you. For you, I'd take it–understand it, if I could; even if you wished me not to.”
“I don't.”
“I know.” Weiss hummed. “But I would, because that's what it means to be partners, to love someone–to love you.”
Ruby’s breath caught in her throat, and the following silence seemed to stretch on forever, seemingly unending.
But just as soon as it began, the silence born from sobs turned to full-blown wails of agony and loss.
Her hands dug into Weiss’s back, and though she winced in pain, feeling something cold run down her back, she didn't pull away–didn't cry out.
She didn't run, not from Ruby, because she hadn't been lying.
This is what she would suffer for her love, and as long as she was allowed to continue this existence, then she would hardly think of it as suffering.
No, she would see it as her calling, finally allowing her a life with a home that she could always return to.
Home wasn't where she would rest her head, it was where she could be in the arms of her partner, knowing that she had finally saved something.
No matter what; Ruby was that home, forever and always.
<><><>
Ruby didn’t move when she woke the next morning.
She didn’t speak, she didn’t turn, she didn’t dare even breathe too hard.
Because Weiss’ arms were wrapped around her, pulling her into a close embrace as they lay side by side in a single bed. She wasn’t even embarrassed nor was she in a rush to move away from her partner.
This was new, possibly fleeting, but not something she would give up for anything.
They’d have to get up soon, once the sun began to rise and the city began to move with it.
For now, though, they still had some time, and Ruby was in no rush to speed it along.
